Wow...how do I even begin to tell all that's happened....

April 9th was the last entry? Wow! My head is still spinning from all that has happened. Let's see....blogs are chronological so I guess let's start back shortly after April 9. Tim and I had an inspection done on the house in the previous postings and after our requests to make some repairs including mitagating the elevated radon level were turned down, we terminated the agreement. The same day we did that, I drove through a neighborhood in Carmel and saw a FSBO house. I called to get info and ended up going in to see the house and stayed for over an hour visiting the Monica, the current homeowner. They bought the house a year ago and moved in with their 4 children and then found out they were pregnant with number 5! Wow! With no room for #5, they decided to sell and more to a bigger house close by. Tim saw the house and we made an offer. It's exactly the house we hoped to find! A 3/2.5 ranch on a cul de sac with an elementary school 2 houses away...a neighborhood pool and a lake. Updated kitchen and baths, high ceilings....very little needing to be done to move in. A cathedral ceiling family room with stone fireplace, 9 ft ceilings, finished basement, wooded lot and tons of charm and such a cozy feeling. We made an offer and reached an agreement on Tues. April 17. The dishwasher in the new house died and Matt and Monica told us we could pick our a new one. Wed, 4/18, we bought a new dishwasher.

Thurs., April 19 dawned like a normal day but would turn out to be a most extraordinary day and one quickly became the more cherished days in our lives! I was busy juggling calls with insurance, mortgage, inspection and delivery and installation of a new dishwasher when my cell phone rang at 10:45 am. I looked and say it said our adoption agency was calling. I didn't think twice about it...thought it was only some other paper was needed or they had a question....never dreamed why they were really calling. We had only been active with the agency for about 2 1/2 weeks. Julie, the director, asked how I was doing and I told her we had bought a house and was excitedly telling her all about it when she said, "I'm about to add more chaos to your life." My heart started racing and my stomach dropped. She went on to tell me that there was a young birthcouple whose match had fallen through and she was wondering if we would like to have them show them our profile. We were the only couple willing to do an open adoption so she thought our chances were good. I told her 1000% yes, please show it! Oh my goodness!!!! I wish I had words to describe my emotions at that moment or for the next 48 hours. There simply aren't words for it. I was pacing around the house, heart racing, crying, unable to form coherent sentences. I tried to call Tim at work and at his cell phone with no luck.....argh! :-) I called one of his coworker's cell phones and found her in a meeting with him. What a fun phone call that was....only wish I could remember more of it!

At 2 pm, Julie again called saying the birthmother and her mother were at the hospital looking over the profiles they'd been given and they had a few questions about what our thoughts were about an open adoption. Mary, the birthmother, was 5 cm dilated at this time.

At 5 pm, Teri, the social worker called to say the birthcouple had chosen us and the birthmother was 7 cm dilated and how fast could we get to the hospital. She also told me the baby was a little girl. I started sobbing....was this really happening? I got directions to the hospital and called Tim who was picking up the new dishwasher. He got so excited and left the dishwasher there for them to deliver...we've got a baby on the way! I tried to pack an overnight bag after walking in and out of the closet 50 times. What does one wear when meeting your possible child? I tried to get the car seat out of the box...thank goodness we had one!.... It wouldn't come out and I start shaking the box upside down and wrestling with it. I'm sure it was a funny scene to watch! Tim got home and we were on our way to the hospital! Oh my goodness.....oh my goodness! The whole time we kept reminding ourselves that they might now sign, this might not work out, we tried to mentally prepare.

We were guided to the hospital sandwiched between 2 ambulances and arrived at 7:30 to learn that she had been born at 6:10 pm. 7 lb 1.5 oz and 20 inches and that the birthfather, Harold, was on his way to the cafeteria with his family to meet with us. I was soooo nervous to meet with them but once we started talking there was a wonderful sense of peace that this was the match we had hoped for. Harold and his family was so nice and struggling to do what they felt was best for this precious little girl born into their family. It was important to him that he have visitatations. Tim and I had hoped for a situation that could develop into a full open adoption where our child could grow up knowing their birthparents. The more people to love a child, the better. His mother said it was great to see him smile for the first time in weeks. They showed us pics from right after the delivery and then took up to the nursery to see her. Wow! She has tons of dark hair and was just getting her little feet inked for her birth certificates. We also saw her get her first bath. Soooo many tears and sooooo many emotions! Harold hugged his mom as they both cried and we heard him say, "It's okay, mom, they're happy tears." We really liked them and felt they liked us too. We also briefly met the birthmother, Mary's, mom and dad who seemed so sad and protective of their daughter as I can only imagine I would be too in their shoes.

We spent the night Thursday night near the hospital. We met with Mary and her mother the next day. It was a stressful meeting but we left feeling we liked them as well and that we were able to show them how much this little girl would be loved and how much we wanted Mary to be as much a part of her life as she felt comfortable with. We felt at this point that it was 95% likely that this was really going to happen! Such a surreal experience! We went home and checked in on the pets....huge thank you to my friend, Stephanie, who took care of them for us and dropped off soooo many goodies to help us out! After a quick dinner, we went to Babies' R Us to buy every pink thing we could find! The staff there was so helpful!

Saturday was the longest morning of my entire life. We got to the hospital around 9:30 hoping and praying that Mary and Harold would sign the adoption papers while trying to guard our hearts that they might not. Our lawyer and social worker arrived and went upstairs. Minutes dragged by while I paced and cried and tried to collect myself. At about 10:45 am, they came down and told us we were parents! Tears, tears, more tears than I thought humanly possible to cry. Wow! We signed our part of the paperwork and then went upstairs to hug and cry with Harold and then with Mary. Mary gave her a book with a note inside for her and a butterfly blanket. She also had dressed her in a little butterfly outfit to go home in. There is such love from both sides of her birthfamily. I can't imagine how difficult this journey has been for them. Tim and I will always be so eternally grateful for this amazing gift they've given all of us. We are so thankful for the open adoption as well so our little girl will have access to health info and also to so much love from so many people. Can there ever be too many people to love a child? We don't think so!

After seeing her birthparents, the social worker took us to a private room and for the first time we got to be alone with our daughter....our daughter....how sweet those words are!

Our daughter....Lily Ann Rachel.

Lily, we chose the weekend we got engaged while joking about naming our children after plants. One of my nicknames for Tim is Plant Man so it seemed only fitting. :-) Ann, after my 2nd grade teacher who was an amazing source of support for me. When I was 7, I had many major changes in my life and Mrs. Wing was my rock. In 3rd grade, she passed away. I choose to be a teacher mainly because of Mrs. Wing and a desire to pay it forward for all the kindness she showed me. I wanted to do the same for other children and I feel through my 17 years at a teacher, I've been able to pay it forward many times. :-) Rachel, the name her birthmother gave her and a connection she should always have.

We spent the afternoon in complete awe that this little,precious, perfect, pink little girl was ours to love and care for forevermore. I lost count of how many kisses we gave her. After her 48 hour blood test, we were able to leave the hospital. First stop was to meet grandma and grandpa who were waiting at McDonald's to meet their new granddaughter. Gre and I sat on each side of her on the way home just staring at her each with a finger grasped in one of little Lily's hands. I haven't slept a full night since nor have I smiled more....I'm a mom! Oh my goodness, I'm a mom..... Life is perfect!

Please watch little Lily grow at her website.... www.lilypilly.info Our little miracle girl! She is soooo loved!