Wow...how do I even begin to tell all that's happened....

April 9th was the last entry? Wow! My head is still spinning from all that has happened. Let's see....blogs are chronological so I guess let's start back shortly after April 9. Tim and I had an inspection done on the house in the previous postings and after our requests to make some repairs including mitagating the elevated radon level were turned down, we terminated the agreement. The same day we did that, I drove through a neighborhood in Carmel and saw a FSBO house. I called to get info and ended up going in to see the house and stayed for over an hour visiting the Monica, the current homeowner. They bought the house a year ago and moved in with their 4 children and then found out they were pregnant with number 5! Wow! With no room for #5, they decided to sell and more to a bigger house close by. Tim saw the house and we made an offer. It's exactly the house we hoped to find! A 3/2.5 ranch on a cul de sac with an elementary school 2 houses away...a neighborhood pool and a lake. Updated kitchen and baths, high ceilings....very little needing to be done to move in. A cathedral ceiling family room with stone fireplace, 9 ft ceilings, finished basement, wooded lot and tons of charm and such a cozy feeling. We made an offer and reached an agreement on Tues. April 17. The dishwasher in the new house died and Matt and Monica told us we could pick our a new one. Wed, 4/18, we bought a new dishwasher.

Thurs., April 19 dawned like a normal day but would turn out to be a most extraordinary day and one quickly became the more cherished days in our lives! I was busy juggling calls with insurance, mortgage, inspection and delivery and installation of a new dishwasher when my cell phone rang at 10:45 am. I looked and say it said our adoption agency was calling. I didn't think twice about it...thought it was only some other paper was needed or they had a question....never dreamed why they were really calling. We had only been active with the agency for about 2 1/2 weeks. Julie, the director, asked how I was doing and I told her we had bought a house and was excitedly telling her all about it when she said, "I'm about to add more chaos to your life." My heart started racing and my stomach dropped. She went on to tell me that there was a young birthcouple whose match had fallen through and she was wondering if we would like to have them show them our profile. We were the only couple willing to do an open adoption so she thought our chances were good. I told her 1000% yes, please show it! Oh my goodness!!!! I wish I had words to describe my emotions at that moment or for the next 48 hours. There simply aren't words for it. I was pacing around the house, heart racing, crying, unable to form coherent sentences. I tried to call Tim at work and at his cell phone with no luck.....argh! :-) I called one of his coworker's cell phones and found her in a meeting with him. What a fun phone call that was....only wish I could remember more of it!

At 2 pm, Julie again called saying the birthmother and her mother were at the hospital looking over the profiles they'd been given and they had a few questions about what our thoughts were about an open adoption. Mary, the birthmother, was 5 cm dilated at this time.

At 5 pm, Teri, the social worker called to say the birthcouple had chosen us and the birthmother was 7 cm dilated and how fast could we get to the hospital. She also told me the baby was a little girl. I started sobbing....was this really happening? I got directions to the hospital and called Tim who was picking up the new dishwasher. He got so excited and left the dishwasher there for them to deliver...we've got a baby on the way! I tried to pack an overnight bag after walking in and out of the closet 50 times. What does one wear when meeting your possible child? I tried to get the car seat out of the box...thank goodness we had one!.... It wouldn't come out and I start shaking the box upside down and wrestling with it. I'm sure it was a funny scene to watch! Tim got home and we were on our way to the hospital! Oh my goodness.....oh my goodness! The whole time we kept reminding ourselves that they might now sign, this might not work out, we tried to mentally prepare.

We were guided to the hospital sandwiched between 2 ambulances and arrived at 7:30 to learn that she had been born at 6:10 pm. 7 lb 1.5 oz and 20 inches and that the birthfather, Harold, was on his way to the cafeteria with his family to meet with us. I was soooo nervous to meet with them but once we started talking there was a wonderful sense of peace that this was the match we had hoped for. Harold and his family was so nice and struggling to do what they felt was best for this precious little girl born into their family. It was important to him that he have visitatations. Tim and I had hoped for a situation that could develop into a full open adoption where our child could grow up knowing their birthparents. The more people to love a child, the better. His mother said it was great to see him smile for the first time in weeks. They showed us pics from right after the delivery and then took up to the nursery to see her. Wow! She has tons of dark hair and was just getting her little feet inked for her birth certificates. We also saw her get her first bath. Soooo many tears and sooooo many emotions! Harold hugged his mom as they both cried and we heard him say, "It's okay, mom, they're happy tears." We really liked them and felt they liked us too. We also briefly met the birthmother, Mary's, mom and dad who seemed so sad and protective of their daughter as I can only imagine I would be too in their shoes.

We spent the night Thursday night near the hospital. We met with Mary and her mother the next day. It was a stressful meeting but we left feeling we liked them as well and that we were able to show them how much this little girl would be loved and how much we wanted Mary to be as much a part of her life as she felt comfortable with. We felt at this point that it was 95% likely that this was really going to happen! Such a surreal experience! We went home and checked in on the pets....huge thank you to my friend, Stephanie, who took care of them for us and dropped off soooo many goodies to help us out! After a quick dinner, we went to Babies' R Us to buy every pink thing we could find! The staff there was so helpful!

Saturday was the longest morning of my entire life. We got to the hospital around 9:30 hoping and praying that Mary and Harold would sign the adoption papers while trying to guard our hearts that they might not. Our lawyer and social worker arrived and went upstairs. Minutes dragged by while I paced and cried and tried to collect myself. At about 10:45 am, they came down and told us we were parents! Tears, tears, more tears than I thought humanly possible to cry. Wow! We signed our part of the paperwork and then went upstairs to hug and cry with Harold and then with Mary. Mary gave her a book with a note inside for her and a butterfly blanket. She also had dressed her in a little butterfly outfit to go home in. There is such love from both sides of her birthfamily. I can't imagine how difficult this journey has been for them. Tim and I will always be so eternally grateful for this amazing gift they've given all of us. We are so thankful for the open adoption as well so our little girl will have access to health info and also to so much love from so many people. Can there ever be too many people to love a child? We don't think so!

After seeing her birthparents, the social worker took us to a private room and for the first time we got to be alone with our daughter....our daughter....how sweet those words are!

Our daughter....Lily Ann Rachel.

Lily, we chose the weekend we got engaged while joking about naming our children after plants. One of my nicknames for Tim is Plant Man so it seemed only fitting. :-) Ann, after my 2nd grade teacher who was an amazing source of support for me. When I was 7, I had many major changes in my life and Mrs. Wing was my rock. In 3rd grade, she passed away. I choose to be a teacher mainly because of Mrs. Wing and a desire to pay it forward for all the kindness she showed me. I wanted to do the same for other children and I feel through my 17 years at a teacher, I've been able to pay it forward many times. :-) Rachel, the name her birthmother gave her and a connection she should always have.

We spent the afternoon in complete awe that this little,precious, perfect, pink little girl was ours to love and care for forevermore. I lost count of how many kisses we gave her. After her 48 hour blood test, we were able to leave the hospital. First stop was to meet grandma and grandpa who were waiting at McDonald's to meet their new granddaughter. Gre and I sat on each side of her on the way home just staring at her each with a finger grasped in one of little Lily's hands. I haven't slept a full night since nor have I smiled more....I'm a mom! Oh my goodness, I'm a mom..... Life is perfect!

Please watch little Lily grow at her website.... www.lilypilly.info Our little miracle girl! She is soooo loved!

The Wait is Over!

An International Easter

We ended up having an International Easter weekend. Saturday, we went to Roxanne and Benoit's home for dinner with them and their daughter, Olwin. Their son was fast asleep after a long, fun slumber party night. :-) Tim works with Roxanne and just admires her very much. She is a huge part of the reason why we came to Indy. They are also adoptive parents from Russia so we have adoption things in common as well. They are from France so they made us crepes for dinner and dessert that were very yummy! I've made them for dessert before but never thought to use a salty version of the batter for dinners. I'll definately be adding it to the list of dinner possibilities though!

Sunday we went to visit some Indian friends to see their new 3-week-old little girl. So cute and so much hair! Oh my! :-) We oohhed and ahhed and looked at her little fingers, toes and eyelashes. She made lots of faces at us that made us smile. Certainly makes us even more excited, if that's possible, for one of our own. They shared some Indian treats with us and made Masala tea that was creamy and so delicious! We had her show us how to make it and then went to the Indian grocery store to buy what we needed. Yum! We took them an Easter basket since Santosh had been asking Tim lots of questions about Easter. Santosh has wished a Catholic friend a happy Good Friday and was surprised to learn that it wasn't a "good" day after all. :-) It's fun to learn about the different cultures and we feel very honored to have friends from so many different backgrounds!

We hope everyone has had a great Easter weekend!

Inspectors, Mortgages and the Digestive System

My focus this week has been all house stuff. Today we had the inspection on the house and all looks very good for a house that's 47 years old. The current owner has taken very good care of it. I spent much of the 4 hours at the houses picturing where each piece of furniture will go, what color I'll paint the walls, which cleaning project I'll tackle first, how we'll remodel the kitchen, what will plant man do with the back yard....ahh, the dreams of a new home owner. I'm not sure Tim realizes how many honey do projects he got assigned to him today. :-)

I've also been researching info on mortgages and all those numbers can make ones eye cross for good. Yikes! We plan on investing in some real estate properties so I'm trying to take my time and learn how mortagages work and how to decide which one is best for us. Soooo many choices but I'm digging through it piece by piece!

I had fun with my YMCA kids this week. The focus is still bacteria and fungus. This week we talked about helpful bacteria especially bacteria that helps us digest our food. We talked about the digestive system by reading a book called, "What Happens to a Hamburger?" and then recreating the process of digestion from one end to the other...ugh! Kids love icky science and so do I! :-) Next week is our last week and we'll talk about foods we eat that are bacteria and fungus and celebrate the end of the class with making pizza using yeast and mushrooms. Next session, I'll be teaching 2 sections of chemisty. Guess I'd better start planning those!

The Waiting Jar - A New Color!

We are officially listed online on the Featured Parents section of our adoption center's website! Yeah! To celebrate, we have starting using a new color in our Waiting Jar. Let's hope that there won't be very many of this new color bead!

Now my focus has shifted to house stuff. We met with Tom and Connie, the current owner's of our future new house, on Monday along with the roofer. A new roof will be put on next week. Tim and I ended up staying and chatting with them for quite a while afterwards. They are such nice people and seem to be like us in so many ways. Connie is flying out west tomorrow to look for their new house with their youngest daughter and is very excited. I've found an inspector who will be coming to do the inspection on Friday and now I'm educating myself about mortgages...zzzzz....but I know it's important so I'll persevere. :-) Tonight I'm going out to dinner with a group of women from church. We're going to Biscuits in Broad Ripple which I hear is pretty good. It'll be nice to meet some new people too.

Surprise! We found a house!

What a big week for Tim and I! First, we are officially activated with the Adoption Support Center! Yeah! The bios are complete and I've paid the advertising fee (the higher amount...ugh!) When calling to pay as usual with my credit card, I discovered I couldn't use my card for this part of the fees. Hopefully the communication I've had with the agency will help them make changesto make things more clear to other couples who may be confused by the advertising fee and use of credit cards.

Other big news this week....we signed a contract on a house! Yikes! I was mentally prepared to spend a few weeks looking around and then we found a house we really liked. It's been owned for by a couple who are teachers. They've lived there for 40 out of the 45 years they've been married. They've raised 3 children there including an adopted daughter. It's about 1900 sq. ft on the main level with another 1200 ft in the basement. It has 3 bedrooms/2.5 baths. The master bedroom was an addition in the 80s and is now a big room with a very nice bathroom and not 1 or 2 but 3 closets including a walk in closet! The basement has an office space for Tim and a great workshop that'll give him no excuses for avoiding those honey do jobs. :-) It has new carpet and a new roof. It's in a quiet neighborhood about a mile from Tim's work and is next to the Monon Trail. It's in Nora on the north side of Indianapolis which has some great little shops and an organic grocery store that we really like. I visited the school about 6 weeks ago when I was checking out the area and really, really liked it. I met teachers there who were students in the same school once upon a time. When people come back to teach in the school where they were taught, I think it says alot about the school. They do school wide looping in 2nd and 3rd where children have the same teacher for 2 years in a row. They do the same with 4th and 5th. This can be so good for kids. I looped from 2nd to 3rd one year and the growth I saw was amazing from my students. Overall, it just felt like the right place for us to be AND we got a good deal on it paying much less than we were thinking we were going to pay for a house. Yeah!!! We close May 8 and take possession around May 16 depending on when the current owners can get everything moved to Seattle. Then the painting and cleaning begins! Anyone want to come visit the end of May? :-)

House Pics

House Hunting Begins!

We have officially begun house hunting! Saturday we went our with our realtor and friend, Deb, to look at 3 houses. The first needed way, way too much work. The second was just up the road from another adoption friend and was really cute but a bit too small. The kitchen was tiny and had an oven that looked more like an Easy Bake one with no room for a larger one. The basement had a fun bar with a control panel of 8 dimmer switches to control the mood lighting in the basement. You know Tim had fun with those. :-) The last one was straight out of the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It had a great floor plan with 4 bedrooms, laundry near the bedrooms...yes!, finished basement, nice backyard....definately like what we are looking for but we didn't care for the area so much. The search continues. We had dinner with Deb and Ron at a great Thai restaurant near their house...yum! Wednesday I am going out to look at more houses with Deb and I'm sure I'll be busy researching away online. I spend way too much time on this computer since we've moved here. Soon, hopefully soon, we'll be a bit more settled and I can spend more time redecorating our new house and less research time. :-)

Revising and Editting and Money Oh My....

It's been a bit more stressful of a week in the adoption journey with a few bumps to smooth out. We received a letter from the agency letting us know they were missing copies of our driver's license, birth certificates and physicals. I called the dr's office who say they mailed them and then called the agency who says they didn't. Hmm...perhaps they've gone to the land of lost socks? I went by the agency to pick up copies that I could drop off to the agency. The other 2 things should have been easy except Tim somehow lost his copy of his birth certificate when he went to apply for his IN driver's license. Luckily, his mom and dad had a copy that dad was so kind to take to work, scan and email to me. Yeah Dad! Thanks so much! That was a HUGE timesaver!
The next big thing that happened was we were emailed copies of our web paragrah which birthmothers will be able to see online and our bio sheets that will be given to birthmothers that might be interested in us. The web paragraph was easy to look over, made a few changes and voila! Done, checked off the list. The bios proved to be a bit more challenging. The bio is 3 parts: a Dear Birth Couple letter with our picture and a scrapbooking background; 2 pages of narrative text about us; and 2 pages of pictures about us. The Dear Birth Couple page was fine except I didn't care for the background paper. The one the director, Julie, choose was very modern with lots of browns and light blues. Not really fitting our personalities so I choose something softer with rusts and greens. I like it much better. The other challenge was the 8 pictures chosen. She wants to include a picture of our house in GA which I'm hesitant to do. I don't want to lead a birthmother to believe that her child will be raised in a house that looks like that since we do not plan to buy anything like it here. We agreed to leave it in understanding that we will update it after we buy our new home later this spring or summer. There was a picture of Tim with children but no picture of me with children so I asked to one one put it. I left the meeting with Julie feeling a bit stressed and am trying to stay positive.
The final adoption stress of the week was in regards to the advertising fee the agency charges. They have one amount for most couples and an $1800 higher amount for couples with children and couples over 40. The higher amount is because their experience shows that these 2 categories typically take over a year to place and result in higher advertising fees. I am 39 and Tim is 43 so , in our opinion, we are not a couple over 40 but, in the eyes of the agency it turns out, we are. This fee is explained in their paperwork and was talked about in the opening seminar. We were very surprised though to learn that we were considered to be in the over 40 category. I've written to Julie requesting we be considered for the lower fee because the fact that one of us is over 40 is the only main con against us. We feel we have many, many pros on our side. The fact that I'm a teacher, we are very active, willing to consider different ages, races, premature birth, some types of drug use and even do a full open adoption which we are told they have very few couples willing to do so should all help us. We also have great networking skills and will be working to locate a birthmother on our own (You can help!). We are also uncomfortable with their policy to charge the extra fee up front when their policy does not include refunding the extra money if we do adopt in less than a year. We would be totally willing to pay the additional $1800 at the 12 month mark if it was necessary. We expect a letter this week giving us our final home study approval and along with it will come the advertising bill. What amount will it ask for? If nothing elses, hopefully the "over 40" couple will be more clearly defined by the agency so that future couples like us will not be confused as well. All in all it was quite a stressful week in the adoption process. I'm sure it'll have lots of ups and downs and this week was certainly one of the downs.

Cincinnati and Chicago Oh My!

It was a very busy weekend! Friday I went to Cincinnati, Ohio with a friend, Stephanie, and her daughter, Maya, to pick up the new infant car seat and stroller I had bought on Ebay...gotta love Ebay! Yes, they could of shipped it but that wouldn't be much of a fun adventure now would it? :-) I love, love, love the new car seat. It's green with burgandy stripes. Now all we need is the baby! My sister says she's sending me a baby doll to practice with in the meantime.

We had a great time on our gypsy trip! Stephanie got to visit with a friend she'd never met face to face and we had fun wandering around downtown Cincinnati. We at at Bar Louie's right on the water. We ate meatball subs..yum! and bruschetta that was served in a HUGE martini glass.

The next day Tim and I drove to Chicago to visit with his Aunt Dee and Uncle Tony and had a great time without ever leaving their house! I could listen to Aunt Dee tell stories all day. She was making me laugh! Tim enjoyed talking about everything from fitness to finance with Uncle Tony. We also enjoyed a delicious dinner of chicken dumplings and cousin Mike joined us for dinner. Aunt Dee and Uncle Tony are both such beautiful people to the core and we are so excited to have moved so much closer to them now so we can see them more often.

Today was also a BIG day for our adoption. The staff at Adoption Support Center met this morning to review our file. Now we wait for a letter this week to let us know if our home study is completed and we are ready to have our bios created and advertised. Checking the mail is even more exciting this week! I've posted a link to the Adoption Support Center's website where our profile will be posted eventually. I know I'm checking everyday already! :-) Hope all is well with each of you!

The Waiting Jar in March

We are still adding green beads, one a day, and they are starting to pile up. Once we are officially activated, I'm going to change the color of the beads. I sure hope we don't fill the jar up!

Home Study Part III - Home Visit

Last night I had a dream that we adopted a little girl....my first adoption dream. In the dream, Tim and I were holding and loving on our new daughter and there were 2 female friends there who kept trying to put little knit caps on her. Whenever I would pull one off, I'd discover 3-4 more underneath it. Hmm...what do the dream anaysis books say about that?

Yes, I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned before our social worker Amanda came over for the home visit. How could I not? I was feeling actually pretty calm about this part of the process. Amanda came over about 9 a.m. and stayed for about 3 hours. We liked her alot! She was very comfortable to talk with and I could easily see why the birthmothers she works with come to trust her and talk with her. She asked about things we'd been asked before like our families, education, income, interests, etc.

She asked why we've chosen domestic adoption. I knew next to nothing about my birthfather until I was 38. Tim and I were planning on starting a family and I realized I really wanted to know my health history on my father's side to understand what genetic makeup I could pass along to a child. Amazingly, I learned that my mother and my birthfather's family had grown up next door to each other and an uncle from each side had been friend's since they were children. The one aunt got in touch with the other aunt and one day, much to my surprise, I received an envelope in the mail. I opened it and saw my father's face looking back at me. There was completely no doubt that I am his daughter as I look just like him! The pic above is the one I saw first. Since then, I've had the opportunity to get to know some of my family on my dad's side. He passed away when I was about 8 but he came from a family of 10 and also had 7 other children so my extended family is VERY extended now! I am so thankful to my aunt and uncle for introducing me to this side of my history! It is so amazing to see people who look like me and also to have access to health history info. So....that is why we have decided on domestic adoption. It feels like a natural choice for us to make. We want our child to have that same opportunity if possible one day.

Back to the home visit....she also asked about what we thought made a good parent, how we would discipline and took a walk through the house which took all of about 3 minutes. I felt that everything went very, very well and was on floating all day. It is becoming more and more real that we are really going to be parents...wow! I guess you could say that we are officially pregnant at long last. :-) Next, the agency will meet on Monday to review our file and will send us a letter letting us know if anything is missing or it'll be a Home Study Approval letter. After that, we'll just need to wait for them to put together our bio sheet and post our info on their website. Then we officially begin looking for our little one....where, oh where is he or she? Please help spread the word...you never know when someone has a cousin, neighbor, friend, coworker, sister, etc. who is considering adoption. Your doctor and church are 2 good places to put in a good word for us as well. You could be the one to connect us with our child!

The Family Picture

The Adoption Support Center will have info about us posted on their website along with a picture of us. Many of the pics we have are not up to date with my new shorter hair and Tim's clean shaven face so I wanted to get a current pic. I thought it would be fun for the first picture a birthmother might see of us to include our furry children so.....armed with a dog, a cat and a digital camera with a timer, Tim and I set up to capture the perfect family photo...what a hoot! Mac wasn't in the mood for having his pic taken and Dottie was a rag doll flopping into whatever position Tim quickly lifted her in...our own photo booth in action. Here are pics that I thought would make you laugh too!

Later that day, we headed to a park since it was 70+ degrees outside...yes! Love springtime! We discovered Fort Ben Harrision state park near us which is 1700 acres of trails and play space including a lake for fishing and horses to ride. We also discoverd Holiday Park with the coolest children's playspace I've every seen! It was tons of fun things that even I, a big kid at heart couldn't resist. I slid down one of the huge tube slides but resisted climbing the giant spider web. I'll save that for another day. The park also has lots of trails that go down to the White River and an amazing nature center that looks like it's bustling with lots of activities. Very fun! We are liking our new Indianapolis home very much!

Home Study Part II - The Class

Tim and I attended a full day class at the Adoption Support Center. The Center, btw, is in a really cute old house in Broad Ripple. It has a swing on the front porch and is next to the Monan Trail. It has a fun, homey feel to it which I think is perfect for an adoption center! Anyway, we spent all day today there with Marlyss who led the class. There were 6 other couples there. Two of which had adopted before through the center and were returning to work with them again. One of them has waited 18 months for their match and then got a call that a baby had just been born and would they like to come pick him up?! Wow! The birthmother apparently had a very difficult life and had hid her pregnancy. She checked into the hospital under a false name and wanted to just have the baby and leave. Very sad... The other couple got a match within their first month being active. They met with the birthmother a few times and were at the hospital when their daughter was born. They really liked the birthmother and continue to stay in contact with her now. Two very different experiences and two peeks into what might happen for us when we become parents.

The purpose of the class was to help up understand some of the possibilities that might happen along the way so that we'll understand and try to be prepared for anything. They talked about what we could expect from them and what they expect from us. They make it very clear that at the minimum, you will provide letters and pictures for the birthmother if she requests it. Anything else is optional. We would love to find ourselves matched with a situation that we could have a fully open adoption. Of course, we would only want them if it was going to be a healthy relationship for all involved so we will be careful as wel go along. The center tells us that the moms who often times want the fully open adoption are some of their best moms because they usually have full prenatal care and are usually healthy physically and mentally.

We turned in all the paperwork!!!! Yeah!!! All 150+ photos as well only to learn that they will pick from the photos and come up with a 2 page photo collage about us. Shoot, I could have done that much faster than gathering all those pics. Ah well.... They do it that way so they can be very picky about which pics they use and also so all couples are on the same level with what is presented to the birthmothers. Some other agencies have the couple prepare a scrapbook about themselves. This can sometimes set one couple apart just because they are more creative than others which does not necessarily make them a good match for that child.

We went to Bazbeaux's Pizza in Broad Ripple for lunch...yum! Tim and I ordered the tuna pizza...a memory from our honeymoon in Italy. Yes, the others thought it was an odd choice too but we like it! :-)

Next up, the home visit next week!

One more week of paperwork...yeah!

All paperwork is due next Friday so we are in the home stretch now! Yeah! I've spent a good chunk of this week working on gathering pictures of us that the agency will use for our profile...154 of them actually in all...whew. Yesterday, I sent them off to be printed at CVS and now am working on writing labels for the back of each of them that says who, what and where. I've gotten all the county background checks back. Fulton county was the most difficult one. They sent it without being notarized even though I highlighted the phrase saying it was required. When I called, the lady who did it wasn't there and no one seem to be able to tell me when she'd be back and there was no one else who could do it. So frustrating! I calledt the agency to explain and they said it would be fine to not have that one notarized since we are not doing an international adoption. They will just call to verify the info themselves. Good news!

This weekend Tim and I need to finish the formal application including what physical and health impairments we will and will not accept. I'll put that piece off because it's so hard to make those decision....will we accept a blind child, missing an arm, cleft palate, food allergies, and on and one goes the list. Thankfully it's not the final decision and we'll be able to discuss things on a case by case basis as we go. We also need to write some paragraphs about ourselves and how we see each other and our relationship. Almost done though....whew...one more week of paperwork to go!

On a fun note, we will be spending the day tomorrow at our first training for the Reinaissance Faire that we are volunteering for. We are going to be part of the peasant guild this year which should be lots of fun! There is one training a month leading up to the festival the first weekend in October. Mark your calender now and come join the fun!

Paperwork, paperwork and more paperwork!

Whew....the chasing of the papers continues. Hopefully I'll have caught them all my next Friday and be ready to turn them all in. We will attend a full day class on March 9 and then have our homestudy on March 14. If all papers are in and everything's a go, we'll be activitated around March 20 and ready to find our match! Wow!

Last week I called the Hamilton, IN county sheriff's office/jail to find out how to get our background check done. They said for both of us to come in anytime with our IDs and fill our the paperwork. We went together on Sat., filled out the forms and were told we could stop by anytime after 8 a.m. Sunday to pick them up. Monday, I drove out to the office and was told they couldn't find our paperwork anywhere and that if we did have a background check ready to be picked up, a woman named Cheryl would have called. So, I again filled out the forms, again dropped them off and am now waiting for the secret code word from Cheryl to come get them. I'm sure all this is to teach me patience we'll need as parents. :-)

Going to the sheriff's office/jail was an interesting experience and a place I hope to never visit for anything more than an adoption background check. Dark tinted windows with shadowy figures and disembodied voices crackling through speakers was a little unsettling. There were people coming to visit inmates including a woman with 2 little girls (I'd guess 3 and 5) who were coming to see "daddy". Whew....with all the Tim and I have gone through to try to be parents, it's hard to see people who are parents and are raising their children in a less than ideal way. It's sad that those little girls know what a jail is and how to get checked in to visit their daddy behind bars.

Paperwork yet to come.... Tim and I both need to write papers to answer questions about each other. I need to write a letter to prospective birthmothers....that's a tough one...what do I say to such an important person in our lives? We both need to have our physicals done next week including TB tests. I also need to gather about 50 pictures together of different areas of our lives. Hmmm..which piece do I work on next?

FBI Fingerprints

Today was a fun day! We went downtown Indianapolis to the State Police Department to get our FBI fingerprints done. They have a new machine that does them all on the computer now so no ink to smudge and get all messy with. Very cool technology! The lady who took the prints was very nice and let us take lots of pictures to add to the adoption photos.

Afterward, we walked next door to the State Capitol building. Wow! If you have never been to your state capitol building, it's worth the trip! The scale is immense and the architecture so beautiful! We saw the House of Representative with it's beautiful painting and HUGE chandelier. They were in session today so there were computers and papers everywhere. There was also a sleeping man in the gallery taking a break I assume. :-) We also saw the State Supreme Court. The walls were covered with pictures of former judges. So much history...it's so fun to see it up close. After that we went to lunch at TGIFriday's and then took Tim back to work after his loooong lunch break. Sorry Roxanne and Greg for kidnapping him so long today! Another thing checked off the adoption to do list. Yes!

Our First Interview

Whew....we had our first interview with the adoption agency last Wednesday. It actually wasn't as nerveracking as I thought it might be. They asked questions about our hobbies and interests growing up and now. I had to mention playing with cows as a childhood favorite. :-) Since then, I've thought of at least 5 other hobbies that I forgot to mention like magic and balloon animals. Tim almost forgot to mention gardening as one of his. He is "Plant Man" so I'm glad we remembered to mention it. They also asked what words we would use to describe ourselves and about how we saw our relationship.

The bulk of the time though we talked about who our family members are and what our relationship with them was like growing up and what it's like now. I learned some very interesting things about Tim's materal grandparents like they used to shoot cigarettes out of each other's mouths. Now that's Alabama relatives for ya! With my very nontraditional family, it always takes a bit of explaining. I ended up drawing a flowchart to connect the many dots. There are even more dots with the introduction in the last 2 years with my birthfather's family. That added 9 aunts and uncles, six half brothers and a half sister. Ah well, such is the pathways that life takes sometimes.

I've learned over the years that family is not necessarily those you share DNA with but actually are those who love and respect you for who you are. I think we both feel that domestic adoption is a great option for us because of our experience growing up in families that were not the "traditional" 2 parent/2 children homes. Tim's experience knowing the care he had from his stepfather showed him that a man can love a child who is not his biological child. My experience of meeting my birthfather's family showed me the awe that lies in seeing people who look like you and also the value of being able to know one's medical history.

We are so excited to be adopting! Next up is our full day class on March 9 and then our home visit on March 14. The Monday after that if all our paperwork is in, we'll be "activated" and able to start being shown to birthparents. From there, it could be a week, a month, 6 months, a year or more...who knows..... We sure are hoping for sooner rather than later! :-) Oh my goodness! I've starting looking at car seats to bring our new little one home. Any advice is greatly taken!

Big Day Tomorrow!

Well, tomorrow is a very big day for Tim and I. It's our first interview with the adoption agency. Yikes and yeah! We need to be at their offices by 10 a.m. for our interview which will probably be about 2 hours. I'm very excited to be taking such a big step forward in our adoption process and nervous as first steps, I think, are always a bit scary. I've been busy working on all the paperwork we'll need. Reference letter forms have been sent out. Thank you!! to those of you who are so kind to write these important letters to us. Oh, the stories I hope they don't include! :-) I've also been working on background checks. We need a FBI one, a state one and one for each county we've lived in for the last 5 years. For me, that means I had to contact 4 different county offices to gather all mine. Whew... I lived in MI 5 years ago and then moved to one county in GA. I then moved to a different county when Tim and I got married and now to Hamilton County in IN. I got all the info gathered, letters written and requests sent out. Now to work on all the other paperwork while I wait for those things. There certainly is a ton of it but at least I know it won't give me stretch marks when we're done. :-) A definate plus to adopting over pregnancy!
Tim and I had a blast over the weekend when we went to MI to help a friend...hi Kimmer!....celebrate his 50th Bday. A gathering with my community theater friends is never a dull moment and includes lots of singing, hamming and belly laughs. Sunday was a perfect day for sledding and we zoomed down the hill and kerplunked up the hill. Definately good exercise! The 4 hour drive home Sunday though was very long thanks to a Dottie dog who ate something she shouldn't have and had such bad gas...man...ugh! Monday she slept all day and recovered from her weekend. She's feeling much better today though. A very fun weekend with lots of good memories gathered.

Our Waiting Jar

I got the idea of this Waiting Jar from another blog and loved it! Tim and I add a glass bead each day of our adoption journey. I started it on Jan. 11 when we attended our first seminar. We sure hope we don't fill it up to the top before we grow our family. The first picture was taken Mid January and the 2nd was taken today...Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day! It's cold and very snowy here...we got 12 inches of snow yesterday and I just finished shoveling. I'm thinking a snow blower might be a great Valentine's Gift this year. I won't even post here what he bought on Ebay this morning. Suffice it to say, it wasn't a gift for me. :-) I'm also curious to see if my Valentine brings home cabbage to cook for dinner again this year. Seems cabbage has become our romantic Valentine tradition. :-)

Lots happening in our adoption journey to catch you up on! While on vacation in Atlanta last week, I called the Adoption Support Center to tell them we've decided to work with them and wanted to get started. Yeah! We are doing a Plan 1 domestic adoption which means we will be matched with a caucasion child or one who is caucasion and part Hispanic/Asian/Native American. There are 3 parts to the home study process. The first part, the 2 hour office interview, is coming up next week on Feb. 21...so fast! I need to have lots and lots of paperwork filled out and gathered by then. Looks like I'll be spending most of my time paperchasing this week. Step 2 is a full day seminar at the adoption center with other adoptive couples. We'll be going on March 9 for this part. The final part is the home visit and that should be mid March sometime. Then as soon as all the paperwork is in and has been approved, we'll be "activated" and start being shown to birthmothers. We're hoping to be activated by early April at the latest. I'm a bit nervous about all the paperwork though. We have to have background checks from the counties we've lived in in the last 5 years. For me, that means contacting 4 different counties...yikes! I'm so glad I moved to Atlanta but gheesh....Ah well, it's part of the puzzle of adoption paper work. We are very excited to be moving forward!

A Seminar and a Glider

This weekend was a big weekend for Tim and I! We attended a seminar with Adoption Support Center on Saturday morning. Julie, the director, gave LOTS of info about all aspects of adoption...pros and cons of domestic and international adoption, birthparent point of views, financial considerations and much more. I really want to adopt domestically because of my experience with being able to connect with my birthfather's family and have access to my medical history. As we listened to the seminar, we realized that a domestic adoption might be a longer wait for us because of our age and that we've been married less than 2 years and that I've been married before. They were saying couples our age have an average wait of 18 months...18months? Ugh! After the seminar, we spoke with Lindsay, one of the ASC staff members who was so nice. She said she didn't think it would be that long because we look younger than we are (thank goodness!) and that we are open to lots of ages and races as well as to open adoption. She said very few couples are willing to consider an open adoption and, in fact, they have only 1 couple they are working with right now that would consider an open adoption. Talking to her made me feel more optimisic about our chances. So, what's next? We need to call Tuesday afternoon to make an appointment for our office interview and for a full day Friday seminar. The Friday seminars are only held once a month. They said Feb. is full and March is half full so I'm hoping we can get in the March one. Everyone says adoption is a game of hurry up and wait and I'm already understanding what they mean. :-)

Other news this weekend is that we bought our first piece of baby furniture! A lady on a local webboard was selling a glider for $30. We drove to the south side of Indy after the seminar and having lunch with some new friends to pick up the chair. Yeah! I don't know if I'll keep it or not but it was too good of a deal to pass up!

Last Thursday was the first meeting of the Adopting and Adoptive Moms Bunco group that I've formed. It was such an amazing night! 9 of us got together and had such a good time. The group has women with all different connections to adoption. Some are just starting, some are waiting to adopt, some have adopted domestically and some internationally....it's a great mix. We spend 2 1/2 hours just sharing our stories of how we can to have adoption as part of our lives. Lots of tears and support were shared which I think has made for the beginning of a great group of friendships. Hopefully next time, we'll actually start playing Bunco! :-)

Time to get started

Jan. 29, 2007

Tim and I are starting a family! No, not the old fashioned way but the new fashioned way. We're adopting! We made the decison last September after visiting an RE who told me at least 100 times that I was 39...argh! It was basically a big sales pitch for IVF which we'd decided long ago was not for us. Now that we are settled? in Indiana, we are ready to get started. I've been researching and talking to lots of people and agencies and I think I know which agency we are going to use. We are going to a seminar this Saturday with them and, if we like them, plan to get started right away! It should be another interesting year for us! Hopefully we'll be parents by next Xmas!