Whew....the chasing of the papers continues. Hopefully I'll have caught them all my next Friday and be ready to turn them all in. We will attend a full day class on March 9 and then have our homestudy on March 14. If all papers are in and everything's a go, we'll be activitated around March 20 and ready to find our match! Wow!
Last week I called the Hamilton, IN county sheriff's office/jail to find out how to get our background check done. They said for both of us to come in anytime with our IDs and fill our the paperwork. We went together on Sat., filled out the forms and were told we could stop by anytime after 8 a.m. Sunday to pick them up. Monday, I drove out to the office and was told they couldn't find our paperwork anywhere and that if we did have a background check ready to be picked up, a woman named Cheryl would have called. So, I again filled out the forms, again dropped them off and am now waiting for the secret code word from Cheryl to come get them. I'm sure all this is to teach me patience we'll need as parents. :-)
Going to the sheriff's office/jail was an interesting experience and a place I hope to never visit for anything more than an adoption background check. Dark tinted windows with shadowy figures and disembodied voices crackling through speakers was a little unsettling. There were people coming to visit inmates including a woman with 2 little girls (I'd guess 3 and 5) who were coming to see "daddy". Whew....with all the Tim and I have gone through to try to be parents, it's hard to see people who are parents and are raising their children in a less than ideal way. It's sad that those little girls know what a jail is and how to get checked in to visit their daddy behind bars.
Paperwork yet to come.... Tim and I both need to write papers to answer questions about each other. I need to write a letter to prospective birthmothers....that's a tough one...what do I say to such an important person in our lives? We both need to have our physicals done next week including TB tests. I also need to gather about 50 pictures together of different areas of our lives. Hmmm..which piece do I work on next?
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
FBI Fingerprints
Today was a fun day! We went downtown Indianapolis to the State Police Department to get our FBI fingerprints done. They have a new machine that does them all on the computer now so no ink to smudge and get all messy with. Very cool technology! The lady who took the prints was very nice and let us take lots of pictures to add to the adoption photos.
Afterward, we walked next door to the State Capitol building. Wow! If you have never been to your state capitol building, it's worth the trip! The scale is immense and the architecture so beautiful! We saw the House of Representative with it's beautiful painting and HUGE chandelier. They were in session today so there were computers and papers everywhere. There was also a sleeping man in the gallery taking a break I assume. :-) We also saw the State Supreme Court. The walls were covered with pictures of former judges. So much history...it's so fun to see it up close. After that we went to lunch at TGIFriday's and then took Tim back to work after his loooong lunch break. Sorry Roxanne and Greg for kidnapping him so long today! Another thing checked off the adoption to do list. Yes!
Afterward, we walked next door to the State Capitol building. Wow! If you have never been to your state capitol building, it's worth the trip! The scale is immense and the architecture so beautiful! We saw the House of Representative with it's beautiful painting and HUGE chandelier. They were in session today so there were computers and papers everywhere. There was also a sleeping man in the gallery taking a break I assume. :-) We also saw the State Supreme Court. The walls were covered with pictures of former judges. So much history...it's so fun to see it up close. After that we went to lunch at TGIFriday's and then took Tim back to work after his loooong lunch break. Sorry Roxanne and Greg for kidnapping him so long today! Another thing checked off the adoption to do list. Yes!
Our First Interview
Whew....we had our first interview with the adoption agency last Wednesday. It actually wasn't as nerveracking as I thought it might be. They asked questions about our hobbies and interests growing up and now. I had to mention playing with cows as a childhood favorite. :-) Since then, I've thought of at least 5 other hobbies that I forgot to mention like magic and balloon animals. Tim almost forgot to mention gardening as one of his. He is "Plant Man" so I'm glad we remembered to mention it. They also asked what words we would use to describe ourselves and about how we saw our relationship.
The bulk of the time though we talked about who our family members are and what our relationship with them was like growing up and what it's like now. I learned some very interesting things about Tim's materal grandparents like they used to shoot cigarettes out of each other's mouths. Now that's Alabama relatives for ya! With my very nontraditional family, it always takes a bit of explaining. I ended up drawing a flowchart to connect the many dots. There are even more dots with the introduction in the last 2 years with my birthfather's family. That added 9 aunts and uncles, six half brothers and a half sister. Ah well, such is the pathways that life takes sometimes.
I've learned over the years that family is not necessarily those you share DNA with but actually are those who love and respect you for who you are. I think we both feel that domestic adoption is a great option for us because of our experience growing up in families that were not the "traditional" 2 parent/2 children homes. Tim's experience knowing the care he had from his stepfather showed him that a man can love a child who is not his biological child. My experience of meeting my birthfather's family showed me the awe that lies in seeing people who look like you and also the value of being able to know one's medical history.
We are so excited to be adopting! Next up is our full day class on March 9 and then our home visit on March 14. The Monday after that if all our paperwork is in, we'll be "activated" and able to start being shown to birthparents. From there, it could be a week, a month, 6 months, a year or more...who knows..... We sure are hoping for sooner rather than later! :-) Oh my goodness! I've starting looking at car seats to bring our new little one home. Any advice is greatly taken!
The bulk of the time though we talked about who our family members are and what our relationship with them was like growing up and what it's like now. I learned some very interesting things about Tim's materal grandparents like they used to shoot cigarettes out of each other's mouths. Now that's Alabama relatives for ya! With my very nontraditional family, it always takes a bit of explaining. I ended up drawing a flowchart to connect the many dots. There are even more dots with the introduction in the last 2 years with my birthfather's family. That added 9 aunts and uncles, six half brothers and a half sister. Ah well, such is the pathways that life takes sometimes.
I've learned over the years that family is not necessarily those you share DNA with but actually are those who love and respect you for who you are. I think we both feel that domestic adoption is a great option for us because of our experience growing up in families that were not the "traditional" 2 parent/2 children homes. Tim's experience knowing the care he had from his stepfather showed him that a man can love a child who is not his biological child. My experience of meeting my birthfather's family showed me the awe that lies in seeing people who look like you and also the value of being able to know one's medical history.
We are so excited to be adopting! Next up is our full day class on March 9 and then our home visit on March 14. The Monday after that if all our paperwork is in, we'll be "activated" and able to start being shown to birthparents. From there, it could be a week, a month, 6 months, a year or more...who knows..... We sure are hoping for sooner rather than later! :-) Oh my goodness! I've starting looking at car seats to bring our new little one home. Any advice is greatly taken!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Big Day Tomorrow!
Well, tomorrow is a very big day for Tim and I. It's our first interview with the adoption agency. Yikes and yeah! We need to be at their offices by 10 a.m. for our interview which will probably be about 2 hours. I'm very excited to be taking such a big step forward in our adoption process and nervous as first steps, I think, are always a bit scary. I've been busy working on all the paperwork we'll need. Reference letter forms have been sent out. Thank you!! to those of you who are so kind to write these important letters to us. Oh, the stories I hope they don't include! :-) I've also been working on background checks. We need a FBI one, a state one and one for each county we've lived in for the last 5 years. For me, that means I had to contact 4 different county offices to gather all mine. Whew... I lived in MI 5 years ago and then moved to one county in GA. I then moved to a different county when Tim and I got married and now to Hamilton County in IN. I got all the info gathered, letters written and requests sent out. Now to work on all the other paperwork while I wait for those things. There certainly is a ton of it but at least I know it won't give me stretch marks when we're done. :-) A definate plus to adopting over pregnancy!
Tim and I had a blast over the weekend when we went to MI to help a friend...hi Kimmer!....celebrate his 50th Bday. A gathering with my community theater friends is never a dull moment and includes lots of singing, hamming and belly laughs. Sunday was a perfect day for sledding and we zoomed down the hill and kerplunked up the hill. Definately good exercise! The 4 hour drive home Sunday though was very long thanks to a Dottie dog who ate something she shouldn't have and had such bad gas...man...ugh! Monday she slept all day and recovered from her weekend. She's feeling much better today though. A very fun weekend with lots of good memories gathered.
Tim and I had a blast over the weekend when we went to MI to help a friend...hi Kimmer!....celebrate his 50th Bday. A gathering with my community theater friends is never a dull moment and includes lots of singing, hamming and belly laughs. Sunday was a perfect day for sledding and we zoomed down the hill and kerplunked up the hill. Definately good exercise! The 4 hour drive home Sunday though was very long thanks to a Dottie dog who ate something she shouldn't have and had such bad gas...man...ugh! Monday she slept all day and recovered from her weekend. She's feeling much better today though. A very fun weekend with lots of good memories gathered.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Our Waiting Jar
I got the idea of this Waiting Jar from another blog and loved it! Tim and I add a glass bead each day of our adoption journey. I started it on Jan. 11 when we attended our first seminar. We sure hope we don't fill it up to the top before we grow our family. The first picture was taken Mid January and the 2nd was taken today...Valentine's Day.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy Valentine's Day! It's cold and very snowy here...we got 12 inches of snow yesterday and I just finished shoveling. I'm thinking a snow blower might be a great Valentine's Gift this year. I won't even post here what he bought on Ebay this morning. Suffice it to say, it wasn't a gift for me. :-) I'm also curious to see if my Valentine brings home cabbage to cook for dinner again this year. Seems cabbage has become our romantic Valentine tradition. :-)
Lots happening in our adoption journey to catch you up on! While on vacation in Atlanta last week, I called the Adoption Support Center to tell them we've decided to work with them and wanted to get started. Yeah! We are doing a Plan 1 domestic adoption which means we will be matched with a caucasion child or one who is caucasion and part Hispanic/Asian/Native American. There are 3 parts to the home study process. The first part, the 2 hour office interview, is coming up next week on Feb. 21...so fast! I need to have lots and lots of paperwork filled out and gathered by then. Looks like I'll be spending most of my time paperchasing this week. Step 2 is a full day seminar at the adoption center with other adoptive couples. We'll be going on March 9 for this part. The final part is the home visit and that should be mid March sometime. Then as soon as all the paperwork is in and has been approved, we'll be "activated" and start being shown to birthmothers. We're hoping to be activated by early April at the latest. I'm a bit nervous about all the paperwork though. We have to have background checks from the counties we've lived in in the last 5 years. For me, that means contacting 4 different counties...yikes! I'm so glad I moved to Atlanta but gheesh....Ah well, it's part of the puzzle of adoption paper work. We are very excited to be moving forward!
Lots happening in our adoption journey to catch you up on! While on vacation in Atlanta last week, I called the Adoption Support Center to tell them we've decided to work with them and wanted to get started. Yeah! We are doing a Plan 1 domestic adoption which means we will be matched with a caucasion child or one who is caucasion and part Hispanic/Asian/Native American. There are 3 parts to the home study process. The first part, the 2 hour office interview, is coming up next week on Feb. 21...so fast! I need to have lots and lots of paperwork filled out and gathered by then. Looks like I'll be spending most of my time paperchasing this week. Step 2 is a full day seminar at the adoption center with other adoptive couples. We'll be going on March 9 for this part. The final part is the home visit and that should be mid March sometime. Then as soon as all the paperwork is in and has been approved, we'll be "activated" and start being shown to birthmothers. We're hoping to be activated by early April at the latest. I'm a bit nervous about all the paperwork though. We have to have background checks from the counties we've lived in in the last 5 years. For me, that means contacting 4 different counties...yikes! I'm so glad I moved to Atlanta but gheesh....Ah well, it's part of the puzzle of adoption paper work. We are very excited to be moving forward!
Sunday, February 4, 2007
A Seminar and a Glider
This weekend was a big weekend for Tim and I! We attended a seminar with Adoption Support Center on Saturday morning. Julie, the director, gave LOTS of info about all aspects of adoption...pros and cons of domestic and international adoption, birthparent point of views, financial considerations and much more. I really want to adopt domestically because of my experience with being able to connect with my birthfather's family and have access to my medical history. As we listened to the seminar, we realized that a domestic adoption might be a longer wait for us because of our age and that we've been married less than 2 years and that I've been married before. They were saying couples our age have an average wait of 18 months...18months? Ugh! After the seminar, we spoke with Lindsay, one of the ASC staff members who was so nice. She said she didn't think it would be that long because we look younger than we are (thank goodness!) and that we are open to lots of ages and races as well as to open adoption. She said very few couples are willing to consider an open adoption and, in fact, they have only 1 couple they are working with right now that would consider an open adoption. Talking to her made me feel more optimisic about our chances. So, what's next? We need to call Tuesday afternoon to make an appointment for our office interview and for a full day Friday seminar. The Friday seminars are only held once a month. They said Feb. is full and March is half full so I'm hoping we can get in the March one. Everyone says adoption is a game of hurry up and wait and I'm already understanding what they mean. :-)
Other news this weekend is that we bought our first piece of baby furniture! A lady on a local webboard was selling a glider for $30. We drove to the south side of Indy after the seminar and having lunch with some new friends to pick up the chair. Yeah! I don't know if I'll keep it or not but it was too good of a deal to pass up!
Last Thursday was the first meeting of the Adopting and Adoptive Moms Bunco group that I've formed. It was such an amazing night! 9 of us got together and had such a good time. The group has women with all different connections to adoption. Some are just starting, some are waiting to adopt, some have adopted domestically and some internationally....it's a great mix. We spend 2 1/2 hours just sharing our stories of how we can to have adoption as part of our lives. Lots of tears and support were shared which I think has made for the beginning of a great group of friendships. Hopefully next time, we'll actually start playing Bunco! :-)
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